


i keep a photo of you in my dreams

by pusa



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst with a Happy Ending, Blond Eddie Kaspbrak, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22524364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pusa/pseuds/pusa
Summary: “My name?” he asks and Richie nods, letting out a small laugh.“You won’t forget it?”The question confuses Richie as he stares at the other with furrowed brows and he nods, letting out a huff. “Yeah, I won’t forget.”“You swear?” he steps closer to Richie now, a little unsure, a little vulnerable. Richie’s confused. It’s just a name!“Of course,” Richie swears to him, even putting up his pinky and grinning at the other.The other boy stares at him for a moment before nodding, letting out a soft smile at Richie and, “Eddie Kaspbrak. That’s my name.”
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 32
Kudos: 120





	i keep a photo of you in my dreams

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! aaaaa this fic is heavily inspired from the japanese movie, forget me not (2015)! (u can watch it on [kissasian](https://kissasian.sh/Drama/Forget-Me-Not) hehe) don't read the synopsis though or you'll b spoiled !! ):
> 
> also this fic is set in 2015! although that isn't really tht important to the setting haha.
> 
> and lastly, thank you to my friend, bee, who beta'd this fic!! i love you <3

i.

Richie likes to think of his life as two things: fun and boring. A bit of a contradiction, right? Well, he thinks that’s just how his life is. Fun with his friends and maybe his parents, and boring at school.

Oh, god. _Especially_ at school.

Yeah, Richie knows he should be concerned about college and all that shit but _damn_ , can’t he just finish one, and his last one for the school year, mind you, statistics homework without some old man towering over him asking what he wants to do about college?

“Went,” Richie groans, putting down his pencil. “You are exactly the reason why I don’t wanna study in this kitchen.”

Wentworth Tozier huffs out a laugh and ruffles Richie’s hair. “I’m just asking, son. You don’t seem like _you_ know what you wanna do.”

“I know what I wanna do,” Richie huffs, staring down at his homework. Graphs and numbers stare at him back. “You don’t know anything about me.”

A laugh answers him back and he frowns. “You tell me about your entire day without me having to ask you, my dear son. So, I think I have the right to say that I know a lot about you.”

Richie frowns then looks up at Went. “You’re annoying.”

“Me to you, my idiot child.” Went grins and winks at him. “Now go finish your homework so we can have dinner.”

Richie groans and throw his head back. “I still have to go to the record shop, dad. I have some stuff to return.”

“You rented? You didn’t buy those vinyl instead?”

“No,” Richie mumbles, “didn’t wanna spend too much.”

Went snorts at that. “Well, all right. Just come back before dinner and take your bike; you need that exercise.”

“Gee, thanks,” Richie rolls his eyes and stands up, stretching his arms. “I’m taking my bike to the record shop since I need my exercise. See you later.”

“Good,” Went cackles and waltzes to the kitchen, where Maggie is, with a hum. “Your mother and I are gonna have some alone time.”

“ _Wentworth Tozier_!”

Richie cackles, almost like Went and jumps up the stairs to his room. “See you later, Wentworth Tozier!”

Richie shakes his head as he opens the door to his room and hums to a few songs. He quickly catches sight of the vinyl records laying on his desk and walks over to it. He turns them over a few times before putting them inside a random plastic bag he found and huffs.

“A day late, Tozier,” he mutters to himself. “Now you have to pay an extra fee. Great job, idiot.”

He runs a hand through his hair and goes out his room, jumping down the stairs two steps at a time. He quickly passes by the kitchen, smiling softly at the soft mumblings of his parents and shouts a, “Going to the record shop!” before leaving the door.

Richie stands in front of his front door, clutching the bag of vinyl records and takes a deep breath. The night air is chilly and comforting, something that Richie smiles at. He starts to twirl to the plastic bag in his hands before he abruptly stops. _Dumbass_ , he scolds himself as he unlocks his bike, _you just rented these!_

“Going to the record shop, going to the record shop,” Richie sings under his breath as he places the bag over one of his handles. He sighs and rides the bike, tightly gripping onto the handles and starts biking to the direction to the town.

Now, Richie prides in on himself being a safe driver—he doesn’t get distracted _that_ easily and he always looks both ways but—but, listen, okay. There was this _really_ steep right turn on the way to the record shop and yeah, _maybe_ , Richie was going too fast, but he couldn’t help it! The wind was so cool and wonderful and maybe Richie _did_ need to exercise but you couldn’t really blame him for pretending that he can successfully make that turn!

So, when he turns his bike fast and—oh, no.

“Holy shit!” Richie screams as a blurry, white figure appears in front of him as he turns and he hastily turns his bike to the other way, him and the other figure falling to the ground. Richie doesn’t quickly take note of his vinyl, or the wounds he could’ve gotten, as he blurrily and shakily stands up and turns to the figure and—oh.

He’s…blond. And he’s wearing an oversized white sweater over baggy jeans and he’s blinking up at Richie before his eyes widen. Richie’s heart is beating way too fast and he can oddly feel his hands shaking.

Richie watches as he hastily stands up, dusting off his hands on his jeans and—“Hi,” Richie blurts out and their eyes meet again. “I’m—I’m really sorry, I should’ve watched where I was going, I’m sorry—”

Richie cuts himself off when the boy stares at him, brows furrowed and a little conflicted. Richie thinks he knows him. He runs a hand through his hair, “Uhm, are you okay? Do you need help? I’m really sorry, I should’ve been more careful—”

“It’s okay,” the boy cuts him off sharply and Richie reels back a little in shock. “Uhm, it’s really okay. Bye.”

“Wait—” Richie calls out softly and outstretches his hand to try and reach him, but blondie quickly nods his head at Richie and runs away to the direction from where Richie was previously going. He’s ran away so fast that there’s a cold burst of wind that hits Richie, he sniffs and thinks he can smell baby powder.

“What the fuck?”

Richie looks back at space where blondie was previously standing on and tilts his head when he notices something. He walks over to the object and bends down a little, inspecting it before a small breathless laugh leaves his mouth when he notices what it is.

An inhaler. Great.

Richie picks it up and looks at the direction where blondie has run. He looks at the inhaler in his hand and mutters, “you left this, you dummy,” before pocketing it. He groans a little when he suddenly feels stinging on his palms and he looks at them, frowning at the two new wounds he has. Great. He even thinks there’s some on his knees, too. He walks back to his bicycle and picks it up. As he sits down, he looks at the space where blondie was standing on again and with a rather heavy pocket, he starts biking to the record shop.

With a mind too preoccupied with blond hair and dark eyes and freckled cheeks and a white sweater.

The next day, Richie sits in his last class for the day, head resting on his palm as he plays with his pen.

“And summer vacation is going to be starting!” their homeroom teacher drones on. There’s two minutes left on the clock. Beverly, beside him, is tapping her right foot insistently. Stan’s trying to make her stop.

“Don’t let your summer be boring and don’t let any good chances pass by! College is starting, you guys need to be more confident and smarter!”

Richie makes a psh sound and grins when Beverly elbows him. “Be quiet, Rich,” she whispers, “don’t want to get detention on the last day, yeah?”

“You doubt me, Bev,” he grins and winks at her. The sound of the bell ringing cuts off their teacher and they all cheer in triumph, quickly standing up and taking their bags with them, completely ignoring their teacher in front.

“And—hey! Don’t forget to do your summer essay—and, oh dammit, enjoy your vacation!”

Richie lets out a whoop alongside the others and he grins at his friends as they quickly run out the classroom. “Finally!” Richie lets out, holding out his fist and throwing his other arm around Beverly’s shoulders. “Fucking free!”

“Fucking free!” Beverly laughs with him and the four of them, Richie, Bill, Stan, and Beverly, quickly walk out and they all shout as the summer breeze passes by them.

“This is what I’m talking about!” Richie grins and Stan laughs from behind him.

“Oh, by the way,” Beverly says, looking at Richie, “what happened to the guy from last night?”

Richie shrugs, putting his hand on his pocket and fiddling with his cigarette box. He also grabs hold of the inhaler from last night. “Don’t really know. I see him every now and then so hopefully I’ll see him again.”

“Duh-Don’t worry, Rich,” Bill says with a reassuring smile. “I’m shu-sure you’ll see him so-ho-soon.”

“Thanks, Bill,” Richie grins then groans loudly, looking at his friends. “Well? What are we waiting for? Let’s go to the barrens, shall we!”

Beverly laughs and rolls her eyes. “You’re so weird, Tozier.”

Richie looks to the side and, like in slow-motion, he sees a mop of blond hair and a pastel pink polo shirt and he widens his eyes. He turns to his friends and nods at them, “Hey, you guys go ahead. I’m just gonna check on something.”

Stan raises a brow at him before his lips curl up a little. “Of course, we’ll see you there, Rich.”

“Don’t forget my cigarettes, Rich!” Beverly grins before she’s taking Bill’s and Stan’s hands and they quickly walk away to the barrens. As Richie watches their figures walk away, he quickly turns to where the blond went and shouts, “Hey!”

He stops walking, back still turned to Richie and Richie grins, stopping in front of him. “Hey? You’re from last night, right?”

_How is he allowed to have blond hair?_

He turns around and Richie feels his breath hitch at how the sun hits his eyes in a golden-honey way and he naturally lets a smile slip his lips. “Yeah, you’re from last night! I’m really sorry, by the way. Are you okay? You didn’t hurt yourself, right?”

Richie stays quiet, waiting for him to answer, but he doesn’t. He continues to stare at Richie, hands tightly gripping his backpack strap and an unreadable expression on his face.

Richie clears his throat and lets out a small huff of a laugh. “I knew you looked familiar. I’m glad I caught you. Oh, I’m Richie, by the way, what’s your name?”

He’s still looking at Richie with furrowed brows and a slightly open mouth. Richie thinks he’s gonna say something. Richie takes this moment to look at him and he notices that he’s wearing a fanny pack.

_Probably where he keeps his inhalers._

_Oh, yeah!_

“Oh yeah,” Richie mumbles, quickly putting his hand on his pocket. “You dropped your—”

A hand encloses around his wrist and he looks at him in shock. Blondie looks at him for a moment before he smiles softly at Richie. It’s then he realizes that it’s the first time he saw him smile.

“Let’s go,” he says softly then. “Do you want some ice cream?”

And so they get ice cream. He still hasn’t told Richie his name.

“Wait, wait,” Richie moves his cone away from him and stares at blondie. “You’re also a senior?”

Blondie doesn’t answer him, focusing on his ice cream instead. Richie thinks he didn’t hear him and is about to ask him again when blondie nods, looking at him.

“Oh,” Richie says quietly. “You in another class, then? Maybe that’s why I don’t see you.”

Blondie takes a break from eating his ice cream and he has such a forlorn look in his eyes that Richie thinks he must’ve said the wrong thing. “Uhm,” he says quietly.

“Yeah,” blondie says then, not looking at Richie. “I’m in the third room down.”

Richie’s eyes widen. “Oh! That’s where Mike is! You know him? Mike Hanlon? He’s my friend.”

 _Of course he knows him, dummy_ , Richie’s mind says, _they’re in the same class!_

“Yeah,” blondie says quietly. “I know of him.”

“Cool, cool,” Richie says. “Doesn’t explain why I don’t see you much, though.”

“There _are_ a lot of classrooms,” blondie says with a smile and Richie grins at the sight of it.

“Hey,” Richie says then whilst they’re maintaining eye contact. “What’s your name, then? Your name? What can I call you?”

Richie doesn’t see it at first. Rather, he hears it. The splash of the ice cream cone dropping out of blondie’s hand and onto the concrete ground between them. Richie jumps backwards on instinct and stares down. He quickly looks at blondie again, who’s staring off with almost a sad look on his face.

“Sorry,” blondie mutters quietly.

“It’s okay,” Richie nods at him and then looks at his own ice cream cone in hand. “Do you want some? Or I can—”

“Aren’t you gonna meet up with your friends?” blondie asks suddenly, and Richie raises his brows in surprise. “Sorry, it’s just…I need to get home.”

“Oh,” Richie tightens his grip on his cone and nods absentmindedly. “Yeah, I mean. I don’t think they’re missing me that much.”

“I bet they do,” blondie smiles at him before he slowly steps away from Richie. “I gotta go. Thanks for the ice cream.”

Before Richie can reply or even say _goodbye_ , blondie waves a small hand at him and quickly runs away from him.

“Hey!” Richie shouts after him but he doesn’t even stop or turn back to look at him. Richie throws his hands up briefly and groans in frustration.

_What the hell is his name?_

ii.

Richie’s first day of summer vacation goes like this: wake up at 10 am, have breakfast with Maggie, try to get money from Maggie, successfully get money from Maggie, and then go to the Aladdin and hopefully get any of his friends to watch anything with him.

He’d just gotten off his bicycle and reading through the list of movies today when he sees a shadow behind him through the glass of the building. He quickly turns around and is faced with blondie. He lets out a soft gasp as he stares at him and blondie, like a flower blooming in slow-motion, grins at him.

Richie thinks he likes the way his blond hair looks under the sunlight.

“Hi,” blondie grins at him.

“Blondie,” Richie says then with a grin. “Running away from me again, I hope not?”

“No, no,” blondie laughs before he looks at him again with a brow raised. “Blondie?”

“My nickname for you,” Richie says before leaning on his bicycle. “Besides, what brings you here? You gonna see a movie, too?”

Blondie hums and balances himself on the heels and the tip of his shoes. He’s wearing classic white shoes and knee-high socks. He’s also wearing another baby blue polo shirt with shorts. He even has his fanny pack again.

“Oh,” Richie says, not even realizing if blondie replied or not. “I forgot your inhaler.”

“My inhaler?”

“Yeah,” Richie smiles, “you dropped it the night we met.”

Blondie’s smile falters a little and he shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says quietly.

Then, “Do you wanna spend the day with me?”

Richie stares at him before a chuckle leaves his lips. “Promise you won’t kill me?”

A hum leaves blondie’s lips as he smiles at him, a sparkle in his eyes and Richie laughs. “All right,” he says and nods at blondie. “What do I have to lose?”

Blondie takes them to the quarry. It isn’t anything new that Richie’s been to before, but it still surprises him. He leaves his bicycle a few steps away from the cliff and stays there. He watches with a smile as blondie steps closer to the cliff and throws his arms, almost as if engulfing the air.

“I’m guessing you love this place, then?”

Richie steps closer and is pleasantly surprised that blondie’s voice is loud and clear, different from the soft and quiet voice he used the last time they were together.

“Yeah,” he says, looking at the view with his arms outstretched. “It’s my favorite! But people don’t think it’s special!”

“Hm,” Richie muses, standing beside him and looking down at the water. “I think it’s pretty special.”

Blondie puts down his arms and grins at him. “Good. I’d forget someone if they don’t think it is.”

They both stare into the water for a moment when Richie speaks up again, “Hey.”

He doesn’t turn to him, but he feels how blondie turns to look at him.

“What’s your name?”

Richie turns to look at him, only to see that he’s already looking back at him. The sun shining down on them makes blondie squint a little, but there’s still that unreadable expression on his face. Like…like he’s scared of saying his name. Like he isn’t sure of this situation that they’re in. It confuses Richie.

“I’m Richie Tozier,” he says instead, “I’m Richie from the advanced section and you’re from that one class that’s three rooms down. You’re classmates with Mike.”

Blondie turns to him and Richie does too. Conflict is easily seen on both their faces and Richie can feel himself get frustrated. He adjusts his glasses and waits for the other to answer him. He’s about to speak up again when blondie takes a deep breath and—

“My name?” he asks quietly and Richie nods, albeit too enthusiastically.

Then, “You won’t forget it?”

“Huh?” The sudden question confuses Richie as he stares at the other with furrowed brows and he nods, letting out a huff. “Yeah, I won’t forget.”

“You swear?” he steps closer to Richie now, a little unsure, a little vulnerable. Richie’s confused. It’s just a name!

“Of course,” Richie swears to him, even putting up his pinky and grinning at the other. He feels himself laugh a little at the situation. Why would you ever forget a name?

The other boy stares at him for a moment before nodding, letting out a soft smile at Richie and, “Eddie Kaspbrak. That’s my name.”

They stare at each other for awhile and Richie doesn’t control the grin that forms on his lips. “Eddie Kaspbrak,” it rolls off his mouth so smoothly.

Eddie looks at him, like he’s expecting something.

“Eddie,” Richie says instead, laughing a little at how ridiculous this all seems. “Eds.”

“Yeah?” Eddie laughs a little, suddenly turning away from Richie and faces down the water again. “Don’t call me Eds.”

“I think I’ll call you Eds, then,” Richie laughs. “You have a nice name.”

Eddie is quick to shake his head with a laugh. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Yes, I think so!” Richie laughs. “Is that why you’re so secretive, Eds? Worried I’d be too jealous of your name?”

“You wish, trashmouth.”

“Trashmouth!” Richie gasps, putting a hand over his heart for dramatic effects. “That’s what my friends call me!”

He doesn’t notice the way Eddie had stood still for a few seconds before relaxing his body again. He grins at the small chuckle Eddie lets out.

_Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak._

Eddie bites his lips as he smiles then turns to Richie. “I’m hungry,” he says then, “you wanna get something to eat?”

Richie hums, swaying a little before grinning. “I can cook something for you,” he says with a grin, “would you like that, Mr. Eddie Kaspbrak?”

Eddie lets out a giggle before shrugging. “Okay,” he laughs then, looking at Richie like he’s the stars, “I’ll let you cook something for me.”

Richie doesn’t ride his bicycle. He walks alongside Eddie. He talks for the two of them. Eddie’s voice soften and softens as they walk nearer to town and to Richie’s house. Richie gladly talks about his favorite places and the best and shortest way to his house.

“And we’re near!” Richie grins at him, clammy hands tightening their grip on his bike handles. Eddie mirrors his grin, although a bit shy, a bit soft, a bit small. “You’re gonna love my ma, I swear. Mags is a little annoying, though, sometimes, she still thinks—”

A beeping cuts Richie off. Normally, he would’ve brushed it off, thinking it was from somewhere else, but Eddie brings a hand up and, _oh_. He has a watch. And it’s beeping.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie mumbles quietly, shutting it off. “I—I got to go. I’m really sorry, Richie, I know you were excited, and I am too but my mom—”

“Hey, hey!” Richie cuts him off and quickly parks his bike, turning to Eddie afterwards. Eddie’s eyes are cast downwards as he fiddles with the ends of his watch. “Eds, it’s okay, really. I understand.”

And with those words, Eddie looks up with a soft smile and nods at Richie. “Thank you,” he says softly. Then, he backs away, “Thank you for today, really.”

Richie nods and just like before, Eddie runs away from him. Richie stares at the space where Eddie was once standing, and he lets out a breathless laugh.

“Wow,” he shakes his head and turns to his bike. “At least I got his name now.”

There are questions you don’t ask because you’re

afraid of the answers to them.

— Agatha Christie

Richie’s sitting at a random bench at the park, drinking some weird mixture that was being sold as ‘smoothie’. He bought the mango-candy sprinkles smoothie. He thinks it was a waste of money. But he also doesn’t want to waste food.

“This fucking sucks,” he mutters. His summer fucking sucks. And it just started yesterday!

He looks at his bicycle, lying next to the bench and lets out a sigh. _Oh, bicycle, where are we going today?_

His thoughts are interrupted by a ringing of a bicycle and then someone sitting next to him. He ignores his messy and sorry excuse of a smoothie and faces to his right. He stares at brown eyes and blond hair.

“Oh,” he says dejectedly and Richie blinks. “You already forgot?”

Richie stares at him and it feels like his smoothie is gonna fall off his hands. “Eddie,” he says suddenly, the name randomly appearing in his mind and just flowing out of his mouth. “Eddie Kaspbrak. _Eds_.”

It’s almost like déjà vu, how Eddie’s face turns brighter with a grin.

“What are you doing here?” Richie tilts his head, taking a sip of his smoothie. “Don’t you—”

“I’m really sorry!” Eddie says suddenly, leaning forward and closer to Richie with sad eyes and a pout almost forming on his lips. “I’m really, really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“What?” Richie asks, then he laughs as he shakes his head. “What? No, it’s okay, I already told you.”

The grin that Eddie shows him makes Richie feel like there’s flowers blooming in his chest.

“Can we continue where we left off yesterday?” Eddie asks hopefully and Richie feels like he can’t say no.

 _You really should say no_ ; his mind supplies unhelpfully. _You don’t even know him! And he’s so weird!_

“Sure,” Richie says instead, ignoring his brain. “You have a bike, right?”

Eddie Kaspbrak does have a bike. It was lying down at the opposite end of the bench. It’s painted a baby yellow with a basket in front.

“Hm,” Richie nods approvingly. “Cute color. I think that’s the only bicycle around here with color.”

“Thanks,” Eddie looks bashful, wringing his hands around the handle and even patting away some nonexistent dust. “I did it myself.”

“You painted it?”

“Yeah,” Eddie smiles, looking down at his bicycle like it’s his prized possession. Probably is. “I painted it yellow and added the basket. It was really plain and old before.”

Richie whistles lowly and Eddie looks at him. “You know how to fix bikes? That’s adorable.”

Eddie snorts and looks at Richie with a soft smile. “Adorable? Far from that.”

“Oh, dear Eds,” Richie tuts and hops on his bike. “You are adorable, accept it.”

They both begin to ride their bike at a fast pace and for a moment, Richie casts a glance at Eddie, who has his eyes closed and enjoying the breeze. Richie thinks he’s the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen.

“Hey, Eds!” he shouts as they go downhill, and Eddie lets out a laugh as he opens his eyes. “Let’s go see a movie!”

They see a movie. Well, _movies_. Turns out, Richie used to work at the Aladdin and can get a pretty mean discount. Eddie is terrific of the idea.

It’s already nighttime by the time they go out, and it’s only then that Richie realizes.

“Oh, hey,” he says, “isn’t your mom going to be worried?”

“Hm?” Eddie hums, unlocking his bicycle on the rack.

“Your mom?” Richie asks, leaning against the Aladdin wall and just watching him. “Yesterday, you were freaking out about her.”

“Oh,” Eddie mumbles quietly then he looks at Richie with a smile. Richie wants to run his hands through Eddie’s hair that looks too beautiful underneath the streetlamp. “It’s okay, she doesn’t mind.”

Richie nods and lets out a sigh, pushing himself off the wall. “Hey, where do you live? I can come with you if you want. Be a gentleman, all that.”

Eddie looks at him then and he laughs softly. “It’s okay, Richie. I can go home by myself.”

“It’s okay!” Richie insists at him, unlocking his bicycle. “It’s really okay, I don’t wanna go home yet.”

A hand touches his and he quickly looks up at see Eddie smiling at him still. “It’s okay, Richie,” he says softly. “Today was really fun, thank you, Richie.”

Richie watches as Eddie steps away from him before hopping on his bike, but before he can move, Richie grabs his wrist and Eddie looks at him in shock. “How can I contact you, Eds?” he asks, a little desperately. “Earlier, you said you don’t have a phone. How can I contact you?”

The sadness in Eddie’s eyes comes back, even when they didn’t leave at all. His eyes meet Richie’s and he thinks there’s a thousand things he wants to say but all Eddie says is, “Don’t you believe in coincidences, Richie?”

“What?”

“Meeting you is already a miracle for me, Richie,” Eddie says instead, not breaking eye contact. “If we don’t meet tomorrow or next week or whenever, then I guess that’s it for us.”

“But,” Richie’s confused, he’s even a little speechless, but he still tries to keep his hopes up. “But we’ve been meeting for the past three days.”

“I did my best, you know?” Eddie grins at that. “Derry isn’t really that small.”

Richie lets out a disbelieving laugh at that and shakes his head. His hand on Eddie’s wrist is warm and electric. “I still don’t understand,” he pouts a little. “Why can’t I see you?”

“We don’t always win at times, Richie,” Eddie answers a little vaguely, a little sadly. Richie tries to find a deeper meaning but comes up empty. He looks at Eddie, this random, blond boy he’d just met yet feels like he’s known him forever.

“Besides,” Eddie says then, a sparkle in his eyes. “Don’t you want a little risk in your life?”

Richie laughs at that then and he shakes his head, letting go of Eddie’s wrist. “You’re so weird, you know that?”

Eddie laughs with him and he shrugs. “I guess.”

“But a weird-different,” Richie explains with a laugh. “You’re a mixture of good and weird and different.”

“Thanks?”

Richie lets out a sigh and takes a seat on his bicycle. “You’re so weird,” he repeats himself again. “But I think I understand you.”

The grateful smile that Eddie gives him fills him up with joy but still, he says, “I don’t get it, you know? But…I think I understand.”

Eddie laughs at that and nods. “Goodnight, Richie Tozier.”

Richie watches as Eddie bikes away before he’s running and shouting Eddie’s name.

“Eds!” he breathes out and Eddie is quick to stop and to turn to him with wide eyes. “Tomorrow. 11am at the barrens. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Hey!” Eddie shouts with a laugh. “That’s cheating!”

Richie takes a deep breath, but a laugh escapes him as he waves at Eddie. “Tomorrow, Eds. I’ll be waiting!”

Eddie bikes away from him but not before looking at him over his shoulder and shouting, “Goodnight, Richie!”

Richie laughs breathlessly and jogs back to his bicycle. He doesn’t stop smiling as he bikes all the way home.

When Eddie comes home, he parks his bicycle as quietly as he can and stares at the house in front of him. He lets out a quiet sigh and goes up the stairs to his house and opens the door.

“Ma?” he calls out. “I’m home.”

He walks over to the living room and there sits Sonia Kaspbrak, watching the news. She slowly removes her stare from the television and looks at him with an unreadable expression. Eddie stares back, feeling nauseous.

A minute passes by when Sonia’s eyebrows lift up a little and she says slowly, “Eddie-bear. Do you know what time it is?”

“I’m sorry, ma, I won’t do it again,” he apologizes quietly. “I’m gonna sleep now. I love you.”

“I love you, too, bear,” Sonia says and returns to her television.

Eddie sighs and quickly runs up the stairs to his room. He hastily takes off his shoes and fanny pack and throws himself on the bed. He goes to sleep with the thought of Richie Tozier in his mind.

Everyone’s at the barrens by 11am. Mike even invited Ben, the newbie at school that they’ve been wanting to befriend.

Richie doesn’t really know what they’re doing here, he thinks they’re all a bit too old to be playing at the barrens, but all they do here is smoke and talk about college. Sometimes, Bill and Mike try to make a dam with the sticks they’ve found, but they always fail. Today, Richie watches as they attempt to do it again.

“You’re doing it wrong,” Ben says suddenly, and Richie turns to look at him, thinking he’s talking to him. Instead, Ben’s talking to Bill and Mike. “You should have boards, and like, put them in a row.”

Mike hums and looks at him. “Hum.”

Ben lets out a laugh and everyone looks at him. Beverly takes Richie’s cigarette out of his hand. “I’m serious! You have to—oh.”

They all stop and follow his gaze. Someone else appeared. He’s wearing a blue and white striped polo with shorts. He stares at Richie. Richie stares back.

 _Kaspbrak_.

“Eds,” he breathes out, but Eddie’s stare remains unreadable.

Someone elbows him at his side, and he looks to see Stan staring at him with wide eyes. “Introduce us, Richie.”

“Oh,” Richie feels like his insides was mixed and jumbled. “Uhm, this is Eds.”

“Eddie,” Eddie cuts him off softly and Richie lets out a smile.

“Yeah, this is Eddie Kaspbrak,” he moves closer to Eddie and smiles at his friends. “We just met like a few days ago! He’s also a senior.”

“Oh?” Beverly, beside Stan, asks with a warm smile. “What class were you in? I didn’t see you much, I think.”

The others nod at her words and Richie looks at Eddie. Eddie looks like he’s gonna vomit and for some reason, a tornado of nervousness whirls inside Richie.

“I’m—uhm,” Eddie says quietly, playing with the zipper on his fanny pack. “I’m from Mr. Douglas’ class.”

Silence falls between them as Eddie’s words registers in their minds. A rustling of leaves echoes as they all turn to Mike and Ben.

“We’re from Mr. Douglas’ class,” Ben says, looking at Eddie with confusion on his face. Richie looks at him and then at Eddie, who’s looking down at his feet. “What’s your name again?”

“Eddie Kaspbrak,” Richie answers for him instead when Eddie’s silent for too long. Bill shoots him a glance that looks like _shut up, Richie_. “Mike? He’s in your class!”

Mike runs a hand through his arm and panic slowly rises in Richie’s throat. _That’s what Mike does when he’s nervous. When he doesn’t know what to say_.

“Are you sure you’re from Mr. Douglas’ class?” Mike asks him instead and Richie furrows his brows.

“Are you sure you’re from our school?” Stan asks and Richie shoots him a glare.

 _What the hell?_ , he mouths to him and Stan shrugs.

“Hey, come on,” Richie starts but before he can say anything else, Eddie turns away from them and runs. Like always.

Bill is the only one who lets out a sound of surprise and he looks at Richie in alarm. Richie sighs and runs his hands through his hair and looks apologetically at them. “I’m sorry,” he says and backs away. “I’m sorry, I—I’ll be back.”

Richie runs away from them before they can answer back. He ignores their calls of his name as he runs towards the retreating figure. “Eds!” he calls out a little breathlessly. “Stop walking so fast!”

“Hey!” Richie calls out again but is ignored. “Stop! Hey, Eddie!”

He lets out a groan of frustration as Eddie keeps walking and he shouts, “Why’d you even come then?”

Eddie stops walking. They’re a few steps away from the clearing, a little close to the town, but still secluded.

“I was told to come here,” Eddie lets out angrily and even when he’s turned his back to him, Richie can still see his shoulders go up and down from how hard he’s breathing. “I wanted to see you, too, you know.”

Richie stares at him in shock and takes a few steps closer. “I,” he lets out softly. “Can’t you just explain? What’s going on?”

_Why don’t they know you? Why would you lie to me? Who are you?_

Eddie laughs as he turns to Richie, still looking down. He laughs like how he looks, a little sad, a little vulnerable. Richie thinks those are the only words that can describe Eddie. “You won’t believe me, anyways,” Eddie says, still laughing.

“Yes, I will,” Richie insists, stepping closer. Eddie stops laughing and turns to him completely, raising his head a little and looking at him. Richie has never seen eyes as sad as Eddie’s.

It’s summer but the breeze doesn’t stop howling between them. Richie’s breathe slowly evens out as he waits for Eddie to talk. He watches as Eddie’s brows furrow a couple of times, something completely turning him inside and out as he stares at the ground. His hands are shaking.

 _You don’t have to_ , Richie wants to say suddenly. Wants to apologize. Wants to say that Eddie doesn’t have to explain everything now. He’s sorry for forcing him. _We can go back, if you’d like, pretend everything’s okay_.

“Everyone,” Eddie breathes out softly and Richie feels like he’s stopped breathing. He locks eyes with Richie, and he sees tears in Eddie’s eyes. Richie’s heart aches in a way that it didn’t ache before.

“Everyone forgets,” Eddie says again with a laugh, a little hollow, a little wet with tears. “Everyone forgets everything about me.”

Richie feels like he’s just been shot in the chest. He lets out a deep breathe and stares at Eddie, speechless.

“I’m really a senior and I’m in really in Mr. Douglas’, you know?” Eddie says, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from falling and he takes a deep breathe, looking away from Richie.

“You,” Richie breathes out and blinks, hand weakly pointing from behind him. “Mike and Ben. They’re in Mr. Douglas’ class. They should’ve known you by now.”

Eddie laughs then and shakes his head. Richie stares at him and thinks, _you’re insane. I don’t know you and you’re insane_.

“It started at the end of junior year,” Eddie whispers and slowly looks at Richie. “Mom—My mom, and my, my friends, they just forgot about me. Everyone around me just forgot about me.”

Richie stares at him in disbelief and Eddie tries to smile at him. “Their memories stayed,” he continues, sniffling a little. “But everything that involved me disappeared. They just forgot.”

Eddie lets a tear slip and he hastily wipes it away. “I just learned how to accept it,” he whispers hoarsely. “I just needed to accept it. That everyone forgot about me.”

“What,” Richie breathes out and Eddie looks at him, still smiling. Richie wants him to stop. _Stop smiling!_ , he shouts at him. _Stop it, don’t smile!_

“Everyone remembers me, at first,” Eddie continues, “if they saw my face. But days passed and they just forgot altogether.”

 _Run, Richie. Maybe he’s lying again_.

“My own mom forgets me sometimes,” Eddie lets out with a soft sob and it feels like Richie’s been shot in every way possible. “She’s the only one who remembers me. But sometimes, sometimes, she looks at me and thinks I’m some stranger. Some random kid who goes inside her house and sleeps in a room.”

“Stop,” Richie whispers, unconsciously backing away. “That doesn’t exist. How can there be something like that that exists?”

“Do you remember?” Eddie insists, taking a step closer to him. “Do you remember the night we met?”

A flash of white and the sounds of his bicycle scraping the ground echoes in his mind and he idly nods.

“I think it’s because you’re special,” Eddie says softly, and Richie shakes his head.

“Stop!” he says and backs away. “Stop screwing with me!”

Eddie shakes his head furiously and takes a step closer. Richie shakes his head and brings his hands up. “You’re lying! Stop—Stop screwing with me!”

“I’m not!”

“Forgetting,” Richie scoffs and lets out a sigh of disbelief, running a hand through his hair. “Who the hell would believe something like that?”

He looks at Eddie and ignores the hurt in his face and walks away. “I don’t believe it,” he repeats again and looks at Eddie for one last time. “I _don’t_.”

When he comes back to his friends, they don’t mention how he looks like he’s been crying and doesn’t mention Eddie. Except for Beverly.

“Are you okay?” she whispers softly, putting a hand over his. “Where is he?”

“Needed to go home,” Richie whispers, shakily opening his cigarettes box and lighting one up. “Won’t be spending today with us.”

iii.

When Richie wakes up, it takes him a couple of minutes to realize that he’s in Stan’s room.

 _Oh_ , he groans. _Sleepover. Because I got too sad_.

He looks at the clock on Stan’s bedside drawer and groans out loud. 12:34pm. He quickly snatches a shirt from Stan’s closet and any of his stuff that could’ve been left behind and goes down the stairs. He walks inside the kitchen and snatches an apple.

“Hi, Mrs. Uris,” he grins at the woman washing the dishes. “Need any help?”

“Oh, hush,” Ophelia grins at him and waves him off. “How many times, Richie? I told you to call me Ophelia.”

“Sorry, Ophelia,” Richie grins and looks at their living room, looking for someone. “Stanley?”

“Outside,” Ophelia smiles at him. “You know my Stanley, he loves being outside and looking at birds.”

“Thanks, Ophelia!” Richie grins at her and walks toward the front door. “You’ll be seeing me more!”

“Can’t wait, Richard!”

Richie whistles lowly as he takes a bite out of his apple, opening the door and immediately frowning at the blazing sun. He walks towards the back to see Stan, sitting at one of the chairs and reading his bird book.

“It’s too fucking hot out here, Stanley.” He groans out but opts to sit at the grass. “You’re out of your mind if you’re planning to stay here all summer.”

“And yet you follow me out here,” Stan says matter-of-fact and smiles at Richie, above his book. Richie smiles back. He takes a bite out of his apple and sighs.

“That was fun yesterday,” Stan says quietly. “I really missed us hanging out.”

“Yeah,” yesterday was a fucking train wreck. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

Stan shuffles through a couple of pages. The sound calms Richie in a way. “Hm? I already told you, being pushed by you doesn’t really hurt that much.”

“What?” Richie’s confused, looking over his shoulder to look at the other. “No, I meant about what happened with Eddie.”

The shuffling stops and Stan puts down his book to look at Richie with confusion on his face. “Eddie?” he asks and Richie nods. “Who’s that?”

The apple falls from Richie’s hands and lands on the grass with a soft _thud_. He feels his heart stop.

> _“Everyone forgets,” Eddie says again with a laugh, a little hollow, a little wet with tears.  
>  “Everyone forgets everything about me.”_

Richie stares at Stan, who stares back at him with furrowed brows.

“Don’t joke with me, Stan,” Richie laughs a little, moving around so that he and Stan are face to face. “Don’t fuck with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you,” Stan says in a deadpan voice, almost looking annoyed. “Who’s Eddie? What happened yesterday?”

> _“Everyone forgets everything about me.”_

Richie feels like his insides are being torn up as he stares at Stan in disbelief.

“Richie?” Stan asks with furrowed brows. “Who’s Eddie?”

Richie feels like he’s gonna vomit.

“I’m,” Richie breathes out slowly and stands up, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Stan. I have to go.”

_I have to go see Eddie. Eds. Eddie Kaspbrak._

“Richie?” Stan stands up then and places his book on his chair. “Are you okay?”

Richie nods and puts a hand on Stan’s shoulder. “Yeah, Stan the Man,” Richie chuckles. “I’m fine. Just…Just remembered I have chores to do.”

The stare that Stan gives him answers him all too well. _You’re being so weird right now, but I’ll let you go for now, but I deserve explanations_.

Richie gives him a grateful smile and says, “I’ll see you later, Stan.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Stan grins at him. “Now shoo, you’re so weird.”

The first place that Richie oddly goes to is Derry High School. He pushes himself off his bike in a hurry and breezes past the students attending summer classes. He takes two steps at a time as he goes up the stairs and finally stops when he sees the room where the teachers stay. He runs towards it and opens the door, startling everyone inside, including Mr. Douglas.

“Richard Tozier!” a PE teacher shouts, hand on her chest. “Please learn how to knock!”

“Mr. Douglas,” he breathes out, chest heaving as he slowly walks toward him. “Mr. Douglas.”

“Mr. Tozier?” the aforementioned man asks, confusion etched across his face. “Is there anything you need?”

“Class…list…” Richie heaves out and slumps against the mans cubicle. He stares down at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Class list,” he breathes out slowly. “Your class list. Please.”

“Well,” Mr. Douglas lets out with furrowed brows but gets the list nonetheless. It’s on a piece of paper. “I don’t know why you’d—Mr. Tozier!”

Richie had snatched it off his hands and looked at the names in concentration.

 ** _SENIOR YEAR STUDENTS – MR. DOUGLAS, F._** _Kaspbrak, Kaspbrak._ There _! Edward Kaspbrak_.

“Edward Kaspbrak,” he breathes out and stares at Mr. Douglas with stars in his eyes. “Edward Kaspbrak!”

Mr. Douglas looks at him with a deadpan face. Richie feels like he’s been poured ice cold water.

“Edward Kaspbrak,” Richie repeats slowly. “Isn’t—Isn’t he your student? He’s from your class, right?”

“Edward Kaspbrak?” Mr. Douglas asks in confusion. “I don’t think we have any students like him.”

Richie feels frustration run through his veins and he shoves the paper at Mr. Douglas’ face, pointing at **Edward Kaspbrak**. “There! Look!”

Mr. Douglas adjusts his glasses and looks at where Richie’s pointing. “Edward,” he reads slowly, “Kaspbrak.

Richie nods at him, trying to convince him but a frustrated groan leaves his mouth instead. “Why would you forget about him?” he almost shouts in frustration and Mr. Douglas looks at him in surprise. “He exists!”

Without thinking twice, he takes the piece of paper and runs out of the room. “Mr. Tozier!” Mr. Douglas shouts in surprise. “Mr. Tozier!”

“I know he exists!” Richie shouts back, already at the stairs and not looking back. “Eddie exists!”

Richie bikes around Derry, the piece of paper crumpled inside his pocket as he shouts Eddie’s name.

He bikes around the school. No Eddie.

He bikes around the park. No Eddie.

He bikes around the Aladdin. Goes inside and asks around. No Eddie.

He drops his bike by the barrens and looks around. He shouts Eddie’s name until his throat goes hoarse and then it clicks.

_“I’m guessing you love this place, then?”_

_Richie steps closer and is pleasantly surprised that blondie’s voice is loud and clear, different from the soft and quiet voice he used the last time they were together._

_“Yeah,” he says, looking at the view with his arms outstretched. “It’s my favorite! But people don’t think it’s special!”_

“The quarry,” Richie breathes out and almost trips on a branch as he scrambles on his feet to his bicycle.

_Eddie Kaspbrak, I remember you. I know you exist. Eds._

It’s nearing nightfall when Richie reaches the quarry, entire body almost falling off his bicycle as he finally sees the clearing. He almost falls off when he sees Eddie’s blond hair. He’s sitting at the edge of the cliff, looking down.

“Eddie!” Richie screams, scrambling off his bicycle and running towards the boy. Eddie seems startled, slowly turning around.

“Richie?” Eddie’s voice is quiet as he places a hand on the ground and stands up. Richie runs towards him with a heavy breath.

“Eds,” he breathes out and in that moment, they stare at each other and Richie feels brand new.

 _Eddie Kaspbrak_ , he wants to say but his mouth stays shut, _Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak. I remember you. I know you. I know you exist_.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out instead and Eddie’s eyes look too sad yet so happy. “I’m sorry for yesterday.”

He lets out a sigh of frustration and steps closer. Eddie looks at him with expectation in his eyes and Richie clears his throat.

“I,” he starts and bites his lip briefly. “I still can’t believe what you told me, but, if it _really_ is true…”

He looks at Eddie’s eyes directly and asks, “Why does it happen? What’s the cause? _Why are you the only one who experiences this?_ ”

Richie thinks Eddie looks beautiful whenever. Even when he looks like he’s about to cry.

“I don’t know,” Eddie sniffles with a laugh. “Do you even remember who your friends were in kindergarten? Or your favorite teachers then? Do you?”

Richie shakes his head and feels his chest constrict. Eddie turns away from his and looks at the water in front of them and shakes his head.

“My situation is like that,” he explains but he still lets out a laugh like he always does, mixed with sadness and tears. Then, Richie sees tears slip down his cheeks as he shouts, “Why does it only have to be me?”

Richie’s heart jumps out of his throat as Eddie hastily wipes away his tears, sobs leaving his mouth. “It’s not fair! Why does it only happen to me? Everyone forgets about me, why? Why, why, why?”

Eddie tries to stop his sniffling, but he still shakes his head, roughly wiping away his tears even as they fall down. “I gave up thinking about it,” he says hoarsely, looking down at the cliff. “I accepted it, but it still hurts. It’s so unfair.”

Richie’s hands clench themselves into fists as he stares at Eddie and he says loudly, “You know what, Eds?” Eddie looks at him, eyelashes clumped together as he sniffles. Richie wants to hug him and keep him forever. “I won’t forget you, Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Eddie turns to him, silently and a little confused. Richie wills himself to not cry and he takes a step forward to the cliff, looking like he’s about to jump. Then, he opens his arms and with all his voice, he shouts, “ _Even if everyone ends up forgetting about you_ ,” he hears the small giggle that Eddie makes and he grins, continuing, “ _I, Richie Tozier—I promise to never, ever forget Eddie Kaspbrak!_ ”

Richie breathes heavily as he stares out into the words, his words echoing around them. He lets out a short breathless laugh and turns around when he hears Eddie laugh, too.

Eddie, with his blond hair and endless oversized sweaters and polo shirts and shorts and fanny packs. Eddie, with his sharp yet soft laugh. Eddie, with his freckles and eyelashes that brush his cheeks when he closes his eyes. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Without thinking about it, Richie turns around and engulfs Eddie in a hug. Eddie lets out a gasp of surprise before slowly, and carefully, he wraps his arms around Richie. Richie bends down a little and lets out a laugh, hugging Eddie closer and closer to him.

 _Eddie Kaspbrak. Eds. I will never, ever forget you_.

Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and

it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

— Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones, on being in love

When Richie wakes up the next day, he gasps deeply and sits up quickly.

He scrambles to get off his bed and almost trips over his own feet to get to his desk, to his journal that’s lying on the middle of it and opening it to a new page. Hastily knocking off several things off his desk to grab a pen, he takes off the cap and scribbles quickly.

 _Edward Kaspbrak. Edward Kaspbrak. Edward Kaspbrak. Never forget him_.

When he looks down at what he wrote, he feels his chest bloom like it hasn’t bloomed before and the smile that twitches on the edges of his lips curls up and up until he’s full on grinning.

Maggie asks him why he’s so happy.

“Oh, dear mother,” Richie sing-songs, “can’t you just let your son be happy?”

Maggie stares at him and chuckles, giving him a kiss on the temple. Richie’s insides shakes.

“Hey, Mags?”

A hum answers him.

“I met a new friend,” he says excitedly and looks up at to see Maggie already smiling at him. “His name is Eddie.”

“Eddie?” she smiles softly. “I like it.”

“You’ll love his nickname!” Richie grins. “ _Eds_.”

“Eds?” she grins. “I love it, then.”

Richie laughs giddily and stands up as soon as he finishes his cereal. He’s quick to clean them up and kiss Maggie on the cheek. “See you later, Mags!” he shouts as he opens the front door, grinning as he sees his bicycle.

Eddie works part-time at the library. This doesn’t surprise Richie, but it makes his heart burst like a million stars when he found out.

Eddie’s talking to a group of kids, about five of them sitting on the ground with a bunch of colorful paper around them. Eddie’s sitting next to, probably, the youngest one.

“What are you doing there, Georgie?” he asks softly, a friendly smile towards the other.

Georgie, a boy about six years old, with short brown hair and chubby cheeks, looks at him before saying slowly, “What’s your name?”

Eddie’s smile doesn’t falter but he nods a little, “I’m Eddie!” he grins. “I work part-time here, to help you kiddos.”

Georgie continues staring at him and Eddie clears his throat and says, “You can call me Eds, Georgie!”

Georgie looks at him before smiling. “Hi, Eds! I’m making origami. Do you want some?”

“Origami!” Eddie gasps in surprise. “You’re so smart! Only adults do origami, you know?”

Georgie flushes under the compliment and grins at him, showcasing collection of origami roses. Eddie smiles at them when someone hovers above them and they look up as they notice the shadow.

 _Bill Denbrough_.

“Look, Georgie!” Eddie smiles at the boy, trying to ignore the other. “It’s your brother!”

“Bill!” Georgie grins and Bill sits down on the mat where Georgie and Eddie sits. “Look what I made!”

“Tha—That looks ama-ha-amazing, Georgie,” Bill smiles sweetly and then looks at Eddie. “Hi, I’m Bill. Georgie’s older brother.”

Eddie swallows down what seems like a sob and a vomit combined and nods at him. “I’m Eddie,” he says quietly, looking at Bill’s face—hoping to find some recognition, some happiness, some confusion— _anything_. What he gets is Bill’s kind smile.

“Nice to mee-meet you,” he says softly. “Thank you for taking care of Georgie.”

“No problem,” Eddie smiles softly, “he’s one of my favorites.”

Georgie flushes under the praise again and Eddie laughs before checking the clock. He clears his throat as quietly as he can and stands up. “It was nice to meet you, Bill,” he smiles at him and then bends down a little to meet Georgie’s eyes. “See you tomorrow, Georgie.”

“Bye, Eds,” Georgie says in a sweet voice and Eddie smiles. He stands up and waves goodbye to the brothers and tries to chalk up his tears.

Richie comes to meet him when Bill and Georgie had just left. Eddie wonders if they talked outside. If Bill or Georgie mentioned him to Richie. He doesn’t say anything about them when Richie opens the door to the library and engulfs Eddie in a hug. Richie doesn’t say anything either.

“Eds!” he breathes out and Eddie feels like he’s about to cry a lake.

“Hi, Richie,” he says softly. “You’re just in time.”

“Of course I am,” Richie grins at him and then nods at the door. “Well? Where to today, Eds?”

“Hm,” Eddie hums and smiles up at Richie. “How about _you_ take us on an adventure today, Richie?”

The grin that Richie gives him leaves him with a butterfly garden of a stomach.

Richie takes them to the record shop. He doesn’t stop talking about his favorite movies and albums and bands and singers and Eddie just listens, nods, and grins. He wants to hold his hand.

They both separate ways, promising to come back in fifteen minutes with whatever they want to give to the other.

It’s the best day Eddie’s had in a while.

_“Hey, Eds?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“What were you doing that night?”_

_“That night?”_

_“That night; when I almost crashed into you with my bike. What were you doing?”_

_“Oh. I was returning some vinyl. A couple of CDs.”_

_“Oh, me too.”_

_“Really? What did you borrow, Richie?”_

_“Just my favorites. Aerosmith, The Smiths. You?”_

_“It’s a little embarrassing…”_

_“Tell me!”_

_“Hmm…Cyndi Lauper, ABBA, and some Ramones.”_

_“Eds, your music taste is exactly like you.”_

_“Hey! What does that mean?—”_

_“I love it.”_

When Richie and Eddie go to the quarry and it’s the next day, Richie plays songs on his phone that he knows Eddie would like. Eddie’s blowing bubbles as he dances around, singing softly. Richie thinks it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.

As he stares at Eddie dancing around with Lana Del Rey playing, he thinks he’s never seen someone look so beautiful. He makes two L’s with his middle and index finger and forms a rectangle and raises his hands, putting Eddie in the middle, almost as if he’s taking a photo of him. He makes a shutter sound and Eddie looks at him, laughing at how ridiculous he looks.

“What are you doing?” Eddie laughs, bubbles floating around as he looks at Richie.

_Feels like, feels like, you know, it feels like  
Falling in love for the first time  
Feels like, you know, it feels like  
Falling in love_

“Nothing,” Richie grins but still, he opens the camera on his phone and hits record.

Eddie looks at him with a grin and rolls his eyes. “You look so stupid.”

Richie laughs and moves around him, feeling like he’s about to explode. “You do you, Eds.”

And then, it kinda starts. Sometimes, Richie brings his camera. Sometimes, its his polaroid camera. But most times, he uses his phone.

Because Eddie, Eddie is meant to be taken photos and videos of, and it feels Richie’s memories won’t do Eddie justice. So, he documents. He documents Eddie. Because, well, Eddie is Eddie. And Eddie?

Eddie is beautiful—

when the camera is shaky and unfocused, close to his face as he laughs at Richie behind the camera. “Hi!” he plays along, making a face at the camera. “I’m Eddie Kaspbrak!” and then there’s laughter

or

when Eddie is sitting by the cliff at the quarry, the camera focusing on his swinging legs as he talks about his favorite movies. “What about you, Rich?” Eddie turns to the camera, eyes above it as he talks to Richie behind it. “What’s your favorite movie?”

or

when he and Eddie are at the pharmacy, the latter buying vitamins by the counter and making small talk with Mr. Keene before saving bye and turning around to see the camera shoved in his face. He laughs a little and shoots Richie a look behind the camera, shoving a hand on the camera and putting it down

or

when Richie and Eddie are at the town plaza, laying on the grass as the sun sets behind Eddie, who’s eating ice cream. “Hm?” camera-Eddie hums and then he laughs. “I’m Eddie Kaspbrak,” he rolls his eyes before looking at the side, deeply thinking. “Uhm, my birthday is on September 3 and I’m taken!” Richie guffaws behind the camera, repeating _what? who, eds, tell me!_ as Eddie stares at the camera with a disbelieving laugh

or

when Eddie is at the library, talking to Georgie about origamis and paper airplanes and paper cranes and he’s shooting the camera a disappointed look. “Look, he’s angry,” Richie whispers to the camera, “gotta go!”

or

Eddie and Richie biking around Derry, the camera shaky yet still focused on Eddie, who’s trying to bike away from him. Eddie laughs as he shakes his head at Richie and goes forward. And, like in slow-motion, Richie screams from behind the camera and—he falls. The camera, on the ground, catches Eddie looking behind him and almost falling off his bike as the camera is grabbed by a groaning Richie. “A bully!” Richie shouts as it cuts off

or

Richie and Eddie at the Aladdin, Eddie looking through different snacks and drinks as Richie complains behind the camera, _come on, eds, we’re gonna miss the previews!_ Eddie buys strawberry ice cream. He turns to the camera and leans up, mouth close to the camera, “Does it taste good?” he asks, leaning back after, head tilted above the camera and Richie makes an approving sound, making Eddie grin

or

Eddie playing with Richie’s polaroid camera and taking pics of everything, of Richie recording him, of himself. “You’re wasting film,” Richie complains and Eddie laughs. “All right,” Eddie giggles. “Turn that thing off! Let’s take photos, Richie!”

or

Richie and Eddie at the quarry, the camera focusing on Eddie taking off his clothes and shooing away at the camera. “Get that thing away from me!” Eddie laughs before ruffling his hair and jumping at the water, shouting loudly. He motions for Richie to come and swim with him and Richie—

He slowly puts down the camera and stares at Eddie, who’s splashing around in the water, waving at him to come over and thinks— _knows_ that it all makes sense now. That it’s almost as easy as breathing air. That it feels like his insides were in shambles but it’s all quiet now. Like the feeling of going down after a really high rollercoaster. A mess of emotions.

Richie stares at Eddie and feels like a fresh breath of air.

He’s in love with Eddie Kaspbrak.

iv.

Richie’s camera focuses on his wrist where Eddie’s tying a bracelet. It’s pastel pink and seems like a keyring than a bracelet. “This does look weird,” Richie laughs off-camera and moves his hand up to focus on Eddie’s face, who’s glaring at him with an unamused look. “I love it, though, don’t worry!”

Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes at him. “Don’t complain or I’m gonna kiss another boy,” he jokes and Richie guffaws, the camera shaking a little as Eddie laughs at him.

“ _Eds_!”

Richie focuses the camera on the cliff instead and stands up. He hums as he tilts his phone down and records the water. Eddie stands next to him and Richie turns off his phone, smiling at him.

“Hi,” Eddie smiles and Richie smiles back. “You seem happy.”

“Of course I am!” Richie grins, throwing his arms. “I’m here with you and you’re spending dinner with my parents later!”

Eddie laughs and nods. “I am,” he says softly and looks down at the water. “ _After_ my job, though, right? You’ve told them?”

 _They wouldn’t have remembered, anyways_ , Richie thinks and wants to punch himself for thinking it.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, Eds,” Richie winks at him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and laughs loudly when Eddie struggles to take it off. “Besides, I’ll be with you at work later!”

“A curse, I see it.”

When Richie walks inside the library, thirty minutes before Eddie’s shift ends, his eyes find Bill’s and he gives him a tiny wave. Richie hums and grins when he catches sight of Eddie playing cards with a little girl at the designated place for children. Richie takes a seat beside Bill, who’s reading a book.

“Heya, Big Bill,” Richie groans as he sits down, slumping already. “Waiting for Georgie?”

“Tho-Thought you were working here, Tozier,” Bill smirks and closes his book. “I heard that the library is looking for young volunteers lately. Says they need for the kids.”

Richie’s eyes instantly gravitate towards Eddie and Richie hums, catching Bill’s attention, and then he nods towards Eddie. “He’s been a volunteer here before me.”

Bill turns to Eddie and Richie feels like he’s going to vomit at the way Bill’s eyebrows furrow, and he shrugs. “Oh,” he says softly. “Don’t see him much. I’ll as-ask Guh-Georgie about it.”

 _You won’t get an answer_ , Richie thinks and feels his hands form into fists. He stares at Eddie and feels his heart break into bits and pieces.

Eddie’s nervous. He’s holding Richie’s hand and Richie feels like he’s gonna cry and laugh.

“Why are you so nervous?” Richie laughs as they both stand in front of the door. He can hear Went shouting. “They’re both idiots, trust me.”

“I know,” Eddie mumbles and Richie laughs quickly at that. “Can’t I feel nervous?”

“Don’t worry your pretty head, Eds,” Richie squeezes his hand and gives him a reassuring smile. “They’ll love you, I promise.”

Wentworth and Maggie loves Eddie. Too much.

“Mom, stop giving him all the meat!” Richie whines, reaching for the plate that Maggie is holding up for Eddie. “Your son is hungry!”

Eddie laughs and nods at Maggie. “It’s okay,” he then leans forward and stage-whispers, “Richie’s a little thin, no?”

“Eddie!”

Went laughs loudly and takes a sip of his beer. “I like this one, Richard!”

“You don’t even call me Richard!” Richie whines and snatches the plate from Maggie’s hand, who’s laughing. “This is bullying, I tell ya! Bullying!”

Went leans closer to Eddie and whispers, a laugh bubbling out, “Look at him choose between meat and a pretty boy…”

“Hey! Dad, you’re so noisy! Shut up!”

Eddie laughs alongside with Went and Maggie and shrugs his shoulders as apology to Richie who glares at him, a smile teasing the sides of his mouth.

He feels the happiest he’s ever been with them.

Richie invites Eddie to accompany Went to sit outside their porch. “Because he’s an old man,” Richie says to Eddie and Went pushes him outside the door. Eddie laughs at the two and apologizes to Maggie for not getting to help in cleaning up.

“It’s okay, Eds,” Maggie smiles at him warmly and Eddie frowns. “Now, shoo, or I’ll call you other nicknames!”

Eddie lets out a mock gasp of horror and pouts at Maggie who laughs at him. He gives her a tiny wave before following the father-son duo outside and smiles when he sees them sitting by the porch. Went has his beer in his hand and Richie’s talking about his favorite band.

“Hi,” he says, sitting beside Richie and smiling at Went.

“Eds!” Went says cheerfully and Richie grins at him. “Does my son ever talk to you about his bands?”

“He does,” Eddie replies and turns to Richie with a smile. “It’s one of our common topics.”

Went sighs and takes a swig of his beer. “Richard, don’t bore this boy too much!”

“He isn’t!” Richie guffaws, staring at Went before his head hastily turns to Eddie. “You’re not! Right?”

Eddie lets out a sharp bark of laughter which Went follows. Richie lets out a huff again and Eddie giggles. Went takes a swig again when he lets out a disappointed _oh_. He turns to Richie who’s immediately shaking his head.

“Go get me more beer, son.”

“No,” Richie whines, turning to Eddie with pleading eyes. “Make him stop, Eds!”

Went throws an arm around Richie’s shoulders and says, “Go, go, go! And help your mom while you’re at it!”

He pushes Richie until he stands up with a groan and glares at Went. “Go,” Went whispers, making a shooing motion with his hands. “Bring your old man some beer.”

Richie stomps off inside as Eddie laughs, watching the two. “He’s always like that, that boy,” Went chuckles, turning to Eddie. “But you know? Mags and I are happy that it’s you.”

“What?”

“You know,” Went shrugs and looks at Eddie. “Something happened then, Richard, he…he used to not go out, you know? Just went out with friends and all, but that’s it.”

Eddie looks away, opting to stare at his shoes, or at his fingers.

“It’s like we lost our boy in those moments,” Went sighs and fumbles with his pocket. He opens a pack of cigarettes and takes out a stick and a lighter. The sound of the lighter flickering catches Eddie’s attention and he looks at Went.

There’s a sad smile on his face as Went blows out a small smoke and he says very quietly, “I see you didn’t get to quit smoking.”

Went turns to him slowly, confusion written on his face as he tries to recall if he’d ever told Eddie about it. Or maybe Maggie did. He looks at Eddie and feels like he’s been kept out of a hidden secret. Eddie smiles at him and shakes his head, staring at his shoes again.

Inside, Richie groans loudly as he walks into the kitchen, talking to Maggie about his father and how he’s probably embarrassing him in front of his Eds. As he walks, he passes by a drawer that’s decorated with frames of photos—a photo of Went and Maggie, a photo of middle school Richie, a photo of the three of them, and, at the very corner, a small frame yet filled with love and little doodles—a photo of Maggie, Went, Richie, and Eddie, all sitting at the dinner table with grins on their faces, and a little date written by Richie that says it was taken two years ago.

Richie passes by it without notice.

Richie walks Eddie home.

Or, well, the intersection before Eddie’s house, where they always split up.

“Your family is so nice,” Eddie says softly, walking beside Richie. Their hands bump into each other. “I’ve always lived alone with my mom, I’m jealous.”

Richie lets out a laugh and shrugs. “It’s a little noisy sometimes,” he snorts. “Noisier than _me_! Can you imagine that, Eds?”

Eddie laughs at that and turns to Richie. They both stop walking, this is where they leave each other. This is where Eddie softly says _thank you for today_ and Richie says casually, yet a little soft, _of course, eds_ and sometimes, Eddie will wish he has the courage to lean up a little and kiss Richie. Sometimes, Richie wishes the same.

Tonight, Eddie shyly looks at Richie and gives him a smile, “Thank you for introducing me to them.”

“Of course!” Richie gasps. “They love you more than me! Besides, if they forget you, I’m gonna punch them both!”

Eddie lets out a sharp laugh as he watches Richie punch through the air, making _poosh!_ and _woosh!_ sounds as he does. Eddie covers his mouth with a hand as he laughs and Richie stops, looking at him with a grin.

“You’re so stupid,” Eddie laughs and Richie grins.

“Well,” he shrugs before his eyes widen and he lets out a gasp, as if remembering something. “Hey! Your birthday’s coming up!”

Eddie stops laughing and looks at him with a surprised look on his face before he smiles widely. “You remembered.”

“Of course, I do,” Richie turns to him and sticks his hands into his pockets. “It’s your birthday.”

Eddie stares at him and feels his face heat up, turning away and trying to hide a smile. “I’m happy to hear that,” he says softly and looks at Richie again.

“September three,” Richie muses, after a moment of him staring at Eddie with a soft smile. “I’ll make sure not to make any plans. We can go somewhere you like.”

Eddie stares at him in shock and before Richie can say something again, Eddie’s closing the space between them, jumping a little to hug Richie. Eddie feels like he’s going to cry. He grins and squeezes Richie tightly, letting out soft giggles as Richie does the same. He lets go and leans back, grinning at Richie, feeling his heart pounding.

_kiss him kiss him kiss him kiss him_

“Where should we go?” Richie asks, hands around Eddie’s waist.

“Hm,” Eddie grins, “anywhere as long as it’s with you.”

Richie groans and throws his head back, Eddie laughing as he unconsciously moves closer to him. “That’s so cheesy!”

Eddie lets out a laugh before he looks at Richie again. “Promise you won’t forget?”

“I already told you!” Richie says seriously, hands moving up to rest on Eddie’s shoulders. “I promise, I won’t forget!”

Eddie looks at Richie and thinks that all he sees is the word _love_.

Richie looks at Eddie and thinks _i love you, i won’t ever forget you. i’ll never forget you_.

Richie’s hand on Eddie’s shoulders feels too heavy yet light, warm and comfortable. Eddie takes a step closer and Richie does too. Richie’s thumb twitches and he rests his hand on Eddie’s neck and leans closer and closer and—

Kissing Eddie feels like swimming. Feels like being at the top of the world. Eddie’s lips are soft, his hands slowly clutching the ends of Richie’s shirt. Richie leans away and smiles when Eddie follows him, lips touching again as they both smile into the kiss.

“You’re the boy of my dreams,” Richie whispers into the kiss and Eddie laughs, turning his head away from as he does. Richie grins and rubs his thumb along Eddie’s collarbones. Eddie has pretty collarbones. Richie thinks he wants to kiss them.

Eddie moves away and gives Richie a shy smile. Richie thinks he looks the prettiest when he does. “Goodnight, Richie,” Eddie whispers and takes a step back. “Thank you for today.”

Richie watches as Eddie begins to walk away when he grabs hold of his wrist. Eddie turns back around and is shocked when Richie’s hand gently holds his cheek and softly moves his head to lean up so that their lips touch. He lets out a smile and giggles.

Richie moves away and stares into Eddie’s eyes, feeling like honey. “Goodnight, Eds,” he whispers and kisses him again. He leans back to press a kiss on his nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Eddie kisses him as an answer and wraps his hands around his neck. “Of course,” he whispers back into his lips, “as long as you don’t forget me.”

“Never.”

When Richie comes home, lips kissed red and cheeks pink from the wind (and from Eddie), Went is sleeping on the couch, head resting on Maggie’s lap as she watches television. She gives Richie one glance and gives him a smirk.

“Shut up,” Richie groans and walks towards the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator and his eyes light up when he sees a box of sweets. “Hey, Mags! There’s a box here from that bakery!”

“Really?” Maggie asks from the living room. “Did you buy them?”

“No!” Richie shouts back and grins when he sees his favorite cupcake. “Maybe Dad bought them! I’m bringing one to my room!”

“Of course, honey,” Maggie replies when she sees Richie by the stairs. “Did you put the box back? Don’t eat your father’s favorite, okay?”

Richie grins and showcases his cupcake. “Of course I won’t,” he begins walking up the stairs. “Night!”

When he walks inside his room, he hums as he takes a bite out of the cupcake before setting it down at his desk and takes a seat. He takes out his phone and opens the gallery to watch what he and Eddie had done earlier.

The video starts with Eddie pouting at the camera. They’re at a bakery.

“ _Do they like cupcakes?_ ” Eddie asks Richie behind the camera and the camera zooms in on his worried face.

“ _They love it_ ,” Richie answers for him, turning the camera to focus on the display of cupcakes. “ _Went loves that one_.”

Eddie hums, looking at the display and leans up a little to speak to the worker. “ _Hi, uhm, I’ll take this one, and this one…and uhm…_ ”

“ _I want that one_ ,” Richie’s hand shoots out from behind the camera, pointing to his favorite and he focuses the camera on Eddie.

Richie looks at the video and feels his heart drop out of his chest. He looks at the cupcake on his desk and lets out a groan of frustration.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck_.

He hastily throws his phone onto his desk and stares at the cupcake. The videos keeps playing as he covers his face with his shaking hands. “ _Are you sure, Richie?_ ” his phone plays. “ _You don’t wanna try other ones?_ ”

_This happened this morning. This fucking morning._

Richie feels guilt spread into his blood as he stares at the cupcake. The cupcake Eddie bought for him, the one he forgot.

Richie thinks he’s gonna vomit out his heart.

When Maggie knocks at Richie’s door the next morning, Richie, shakily and hoarsely, answers a _don’t come in_ as he stares at the bracelet Eddie gave him.

He hasn’t slept all night.

Beverly comes to visit him later in the afternoon.

She sits beside Richie at the porch, cigarette hanging off her mouth as she reads a book. It’s something Ben recommended her. Richie thinks it’s about feminism. He’s sitting beside her, cigarette resting in between his fingers as he looks at his journal. He flips through page after page.

_Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak._

_Eddie Kaspbrak. Don’t forget his name. Eddie Kaspbrak._

_Eds Kaspbrak. Eds Eds Eds Eds Eds Eds_

_Kaspbrak Eddie. Eds Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak_

The vibrating and ringing of his phone makes him jump and he scrambles to take it out of his pocket.

“Who is it?” Beverly asks softly and Richie grunts.

“It’s no one,” he mumbles. “Just a random game.”

**Reminder: Meet up with Eds at the park**

Shit.

“Shit,” Richie curses and closes his journal as he stands up. “I forgot—I need to do something.”

Beverly turns a page. “You going to see Eddie?”

Richie pauses in looking for a jacket and he quickly turns his head to look at her. “Wha—You know Eddie?”

Beverly doesn’t look up. “Yeah? He’s, like, your friend, right? Or acquaintance, I don’t know.”

He stares at her, confusion and guilt running around him before he remembers the reminder. He’ll just have to ask her later.

“You okay staying here, Bev?” he asks, shrugging on a jacket and Beverly nods.

“Yeah,” she says offhandedly. “I’ll talk to Maggie later or whatever. Say hi to Eddie for me, I guess.”

v.

When Richie arrives at the park, his head is swimming with confusion as he walks around, phone open to a paused video, showing Eddie’s face. He’s walking around, looking at the boys there and then at his phone. _Was that Eddie? No, no, wait—is that him?_

He continues to walk around when he catches sight of a boy with blonde hair, wearing a light blue sweater over a polo shirt and then with shorts and fanny pack. Richie looks at him for a moment and catches sight of his side profile before his eyes dart to his phone. _It’s him!_

“Eddie!” he blurts out without thinking and Eddie is suddenly turning to him with a grin.

“Hi!” he runs a little towards Richie and is quick to hold his hand. Richie feels new and yet…

“Did you wait long?” he forces out with a grin and feels like it isn’t so much forced when Eddie answers with a big grin, shaking his head.

“No, no,” he answers with a giggle. “Where’d you wanna go today?”

_Where do I wanna go today? Where do we go?_

“Uhm,” he racks his brain for answers before he looks at Eddie with a soft smile. “How about you? Where do you wanna go?”

It’s good enough. Eddie’s eyes sparkle even more, and he squeezes Richie’s hand. “Let’s go to the usual!” he says excitedly, tugging his hand. “Let’s go!”

The usual is a small café at the outskirts of Derry. Richie thinks he’s been here only a few times, just to accompany Maggie and her friends.

He stares out the window as Eddie finishes taking his order. He turns his head to Eddie when he finishes and offers him a smile. His glasses slip down a little.

“I’m so excited for next week!” Eddie says excitedly and Richie’s quiet as he stares at him. Eddie can feel his grin slowly disappearing as Richie stares at him with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Richie asks confused and Eddie’s smile completely drops.

“September three?” Eddie says quietly, hands intertwining with each other.

_It’s my…_

“It’s your birthday!” Richie blurts out and he grins at Eddie, who’s face lightens up immediately.

“You remembered!” Eddie grins and Richie feels relief flood through his body. “I want to go somewhere with you.”

“Where?” Richie asks curiously and Eddie feels his face slowly fall as he looks out the window.

“Uhm,” he says, “I wanna go anywhere as long as it’s with you.”

He looks at the other when Richie lets out a sharp bark of laughter, head thrown back. “Really?” he laughs. “That’s so cheesy!”

Richie doesn’t notice the way Eddie gives him a small grin before face drops and he looks out the window, face pained.

The next day, when Eddie’s at his shift and arranging books around the library, his chest feels giddy and excited. He’s seeing Richie later! Well, he’s always seeing Richie but no matter what happens, Eddie is always so excited to see him. Maybe they can watch a movie later?

He catches sight of Georgie doing origami again and he grins, walking over to him. “Hi, Georgie!” he grins, going on his knees to be level with him. “Is that…a heart?”

Georgie looks at him and laughs, shaking his head.

“Oh! A goldfish?”

Georgie grins bashfully and shakes his head again.

“Hm… a helmet!”

“No,” Georgie giggles, shaking his head at Eddie. “You have one last try!”

“Oh no!” Eddie gasps, horrified. “What is it, Georgie?”

Georgie finishes doing it and Eddie grins. “A crane!”

Georgie nods excitedly. “You got it!” he grins and then, to Eddie’s surprise, he extends his hand out to Eddie.

“For me?” Eddie says softly, taking it out of Georgie’s hands when he nods. Then, Georgie reaches over to his desk and plucks out a pink crane.

“This is for your friend!” Georgie grins. “The guy with glasses! He calls you ‘my love’ sometimes. Like my mom and dad!”

 _Richie_.

Eddie lets out a soft laugh and looks at the two pink cranes, feeling his heart flood out love and affection for Georgie and Richie. “Thank you, Georgie,” he says quietly and smiles even brighter when Georgie gives him a grin. “He’ll love it.”

Eddie can’t wait for Richie to pick him up.

Richie has spent the day watching movies with Beverly and Mike. They let out whoops of laughter as they leave the Aladdin and Beverly nudges Richie. “You going somewhere, Tozier?”

Richie lets out a laugh. “Where the hell am I going, Bev?”

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he’s quick to take it out but his attention is taken by a ringing of a bicycle bell and they all see Stanley.

“Hey, guys,” he grins. “Wanna hang out?”

“Hell yeah!”

Richie grins and throws an arm around Mike’s shoulders and pockets his phone.

**Reminder: Pick Eds up at the library**

Eddie’s shift had just ended, and he looks at the clock above the library doors. Richie was supposed to be here ten minutes ago.

He lets out a quiet sigh and rubs his hands around his pants. _Maybe he’s just running late?_

The doors open and he excitedly moves closer to see if it’s Richie.

It’s Bill Denbrough.

“Oh,” he says quietly when Bill quietly closes the door. “Hi, Bill!”

Bill turns to him in surprise and looks at him in confusion. “Hello,” he says quietly before nodding at him. Eddie feels like his heart is gonna fall out when Bill doesn’t spare him another glance and begins to walk towards where Georgie is.

Eddie’s hands fists at the end of his shirt and he looks at the clock again. _Where are you, Richie?_

When Richie and his friends had arrived at Stanley’s house, all compiling in his living room and immediately fighting over what movie to watch, Richie sinks himself to the couch with a laugh, phone lying face down at the ground. Stanley sits beside him and gives him coffee. “Don’t play that wretched movie again!” Stanley shouts amidst their laughs and shouting.

“Pick a funny one!” Richie shouts, hand cupped over his mouth jokingly. Stanley turns to him and makes a noise of recognition making Richie look at him.

“Nice bracelet,” Stanley points out. “Where’d you get it?”

“Huh?” Richie looks at his wrist and looks at the pastel blue bracelet, way too many accessories hanging off of it. “I don’t know. Mags probably gave me.”

Stanley shrugs. “It’s pretty.”

“Yeah,” Richie mumbles, moving his wrist around to look at the accessories. He spots a pink **E** hanging off and shrugs it off.

Eddie goes to Richie’s house. Maggie finds him mindlessly staring at their porch, where she’s sitting and calls him over.

“Sorry for suddenly coming here,” Eddie’s quick to apologize when Maggie gives him a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Nonsense!” Maggie laughs, waving her hand airily. “Any friend of Richard’s is my friend!”

Eddie grins at her and feels relief at her words. But then, Maggie turns to him again and asks, “Oh, my manners! What’s your name again, love?”

Eddie feels his heart shatter. “Eddie,” he says quietly after a while. “Richie calls me Eds sometimes.”

“Eddie,” Maggie repeats with a smile. “Well, nice to meet you, Eddie!”

Eddie gives her a smile. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Maggie takes a sip of her coffee when Eddie speaks up, “Uhm, do you know where Richie is right now?”

“Probably with his friends,” Maggie answers for him with an apologetic smile. “Sometimes, they make sudden plans to go somewhere.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t you give him a call?” Maggie suggest with a soft smile. “Do you have his number?”

“I don’t have one,” Eddie answers quietly. “I don’t have a phone.”

He looks up to see that Maggie had stopped drinking and is now looking at him with a confused expression. Eddie smiles and shakes his head, taking out the origami out his pocket. “I’ll be going now,” he says softly and steps closer to Maggie, giving her one of the pink origamis. “When he comes back, can you give him this instead?”

Maggie looks at his hands and gives him a confused look. “Sorry? What’s this?”

“An origami,” he answers bashfully. “Will you? Please?”

Maggie looks at him and Eddie can see it clearly—pity and sadness. Even when she doesn’t know him, remember him. Eddie wants to run away.

“Here,” Maggie says after a moment and places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder—warm and heavy, Eddie feels like he’s gonna cry. His own mother hasn’t even talked to him in such a loving way like Maggie has. “Why don’t you wait for Richie in his room? And I’ll give him a call, say a special friend is here.”

_Special friend._

“Okay,” he says quietly, trying to blink away tears. “Um, I’ll be—at his room.”

“Of course,” Maggie smiles at him, rubbing his shoulder. “I’ll just be here, okay?”

He can feel Maggie watching him as he slowly goes up the stairs and to Richie’s living room. He can feel his breath going faster as he tries not to think of the worst. _Maybe Richie really was just running late? Maybe it’s my fault for not having a phone. Richie could’ve just called me about it. I’m stupid to think about this. I shouldn’t have come here_.

When Eddie opens the door, the first thing he sees is Richie’s bed and the smell of Richie hitting him. A smile graces his lips before he faces to the left, where Richie’s desk is and where the bed is facing, and the origami in his hand falls.

The door slowly closes behind him as he stares at the wall.

Pictures of Eddie, big and small, almost twenty of them, facing him. His name written in multiple pieces of paper.

There’s a photo of Eddie at the arcade.

A photo of Eddie laughing, the biggest photo, at the middle. Mocking him.

**_Eddie Kaspbrak. Eds. Eds. Eddie Kaspbrak._ **

Eddie feels his throat constrict as he covers his mouth. He eyes a yellow sticky note at the top. **_EDDIE KASPBRAK, REMEMBER HIS NAME!!_**

He tries to control his breathing as he looks at every photo. There’s one of him pouting at the Aladdin. One of him laughing at the usual café they go to. One of him laughing as he’s about to jump at the quarry. One of him trying on sunglasses. One of him holding the camera and making a silly face.

Eddie takes deep breathes as he then looks at the multiple colored sticky notes, all containing his name, written in different colors and sizes.

**Eddie Kaspbrak  
Eddie Kaspbrak  
Eddie Kaspbrak  
Eddie Kaspbrak  
Eddie Kaspbrak  
  
**

He eyes a torn off notebook paper. **DON’T FORGET! EDS KASPBRAK !!**

He tries to level his breathing, hand clasping around his mouth as he looks at different photos, eyesight blurring with tears. There’s one of him playing around at the quarry, water splashing around his face. There’s one of him eating ice cream, sporting a grin. There’s a pink sticky note taped at the corner of the photo. _Note: Don’t take this off, Eds. Or I’m leaving you!_

He feels it then—feels his hand shake as he closes his eyes, a broken sob leaving his mouth as he wraps his other arm around his stomach. He holds onto himself as he does, feeling different kinds of pain envelope his body like a hug, like the ocean, like the wind. It envelopes him like a hug and the warm tears envelope his cheeks like a kiss. He barely opens his eyes when he spots it.

**DON’T FORGET !! EDDIE KASPBRAK’S BIRTHDAY IS ON SEPTEMBER 13.**

**I, RICHIE TOZIER, WILL NEVER FORGET EDDIE KASPBRAK. EDS EDS EDS!!**

Eddie lets out a muffled sob and shakes his head, hand tightening around his mouth, as if trying to make his sobs quieter. He can hear his own heavy breathing echoing around the room as he thinks about what’s gonna happen next.

Eddie stares at the carpeted floor of Richie’s bedroom and tries to forget this feeling. Tries to convince himself that it’s all fake. Maybe Richie really _is_ just running late. He isn’t forgetting him. Maybe this wall is just some joke. Knows Eddie would be worried and try to go to his house. It’s all just some joke, right?

Eddie lets in a heavy breath and tries to stop himself from crying, from looking at the wall, looking at himself, looking at the printed photos that Richie did. He looks at the wall and sees his name. It just hits him all so suddenly, even though he knows it’s already happened.

_He already forgot about me._

Eddie shakes his head and grips his mouth harder, sobs forcibly coming out. Fuck. He has to leave soon. He’s scared that Maggie might hear him. Or worse, Richie suddenly comes home.

He closes his eyes and lets his warm tears fall down to the ground and onto his shoes. He wraps his arm around his body until he’s aching and tired.

_He wasn’t running late. He forgot me. He forgot. He already forgot. You already have nothing to lose._

_Richie forgot about me._

If you remember me, then I don’t care

if everyone else forgets.

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the shore

When Richie comes home the next morning, he kisses Maggie on the cheek and stalks up to his room, sighing loudly as he jumps to his bed. He’s had another sleepover at Stanley’s. He sighs and sits up slightly and looks at his desk. He rolls his eyes at the way it looks blank and ugly and groans.

“School’s starting soon,” he groans onto his pillow. Something presses against his wrist and he looks at it to see the bracelet he doesn’t know where he’s got it from. He sits up on his elbows and looks at it, running a finger through it. He runs a finger through the **E** and then shrugs. He quickly takes off the bracelet and throws it on his bedside drawer.

Whatever. He didn’t really like wearing bracelets.

Richie spends his last few days of summer vacation hanging out with Maggie and Wentworth. He laughs, and dances, and laughs, and sings, and dances to his vinyl records with them. He doesn’t think of blond hair and oversized sweaters and he doesn’t remember of September thirds and honey eyes and freckled cheeks.

The bracelet he’s thrown on his bedside drawer collects dust. Richie barely gives it a glance.

On the last day of summer break, Richie overhears Maggie gossiping with Wentworth in the living room. He laughs as he hears Wentworth’s interested replies and curious answers.

“Oh,” Maggie says as Richie pours himself orange juice in the kitchen. “I heard someone is moving out of town, by the way. Says she already had her stuff in boxes and the moving truck coming back almost every day!”

“Really?” Richie asks loudly, taking a sip and walking inside the living room. “Who?”

Maggie shrugs and Wentworth looks at her incredulously. “Forgot the name,” she hums when her face lights up. “Ah! I remember! It was Sonia!”

“Sonia?”

“Sonia Kasp…brak?” Maggie tilts her head as she tries to remember. “Yes, her! I don’t know why she’d move, though.”

“C’mon, Mags,” Richie snorts, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “ _I’d_ move away from here.”

Maggie gives him a small smile and ruffles his hair. “One day, baby. One day.”

Richie doesn’t think twice of the name Sonia Kaspbrak and elbows Wentworth on the leg. “Play a movie!”

September 3 comes, and Richie spends it at school, learning about maths and sciences and languages, and almost getting caught when he’s falling asleep. (He doesn’t, though, ha!)

At lunch, he spends it with Beverly, Stanley, Bill, Ben, and Mike. Richie doesn’t think about how he feels like someone is missing. How _he’s_ missing someone. It makes him a little quieter, a little distant. Often times, he even looks at his wrist and feels like there’s _supposed_ to be something there. It haunts him.

It’s when he’s picking at his food that Bill speaks up, “Hey, Rih-Richie?”

“Huh?” he looks up and sees that everyone’s looking at him.

“You’re a little distracted today, huh?” Ben smiles softly at him. “Everything okay?”

“What?” Richie laughs, shaking his head. “No, I’m okay.”

“Post-summer vacation symptom,” Beverly whispers as if it’s a conspiracy and Richie scoffs out a laugh at her.

“Shut up,” he laughs. “Just a little tired.” He then looks at Bill with a curious expression, “What was it, by the way?”

“You took our class pho-photo, right?” Bill asks hopefully. “In our s-se-second year.”

“Hm?” Richie thinks, spinning his fork lightly. “Yeah, I think so. It’s still in my laptop.”

_A laptop I haven’t opened in months._

“Yeah?” Bill grins excitedly. “Can I co-come over? I’ll be quick.”

“Sure, whatever,” Richie waves a hand as if it’s nothing. “Mags probably misses you.”

“I think _we_ all miss Mags,” Stanley jokes and Mike laughs at that, nodding. Richie grins.

“I see, replace the Tozier, huh?”

“Please,” Beverly snorts. “We’d take Mags over you any day.”

“Hey!”

“Even Went,” Mike quips and Richie turns with a gasp.

“Mikey!”

Mike shrugs, laughing. “Sorry, Richie. Gotta say the truth, man.”

Richie laughs loudly, shaking his head. He looks at them and feels warmth spread around in his chest.

Richie comes home at exactly 4pm. He comes home to an empty house and he sings as loudly as he can as he dances up the stairs. When he walks inside his room and towards his desk, he lets out a sigh when he sees his laptop, closed and even collecting dust at the top.

“Yuck.”

He dusts it all off and settles down onto his chair, opening it up. He plays with his phone for a while when his laptop finally opens and his eyes darts towards the multiple, almost twenty, folders on his desktop. His brows furrow as his eyes look at each one. It’s all named the same.

EDDIE

“Eddie…” Richie reads slowly and leans forward, as if he’s reading it wrong. He clicks through each folder, trying to find the first one that’s created and feels unease and worry seep through his body. He quickly finds the first folder and inside, there are three videos. It’s all dated two years ago. There’s a boy with black hair and wearing a pink polo shirt with shorts as he stares at the camera. Richie clicks play.

> “Okay, are you ready?” The camera is shaky, and it’s Richie who’s speaking, Richie from two years ago. His camera is focused on a boy with dark hair, who’s staring at the camera with a deadpan face before he nods. They’re filming behind Derry High, trees upon trees behind the boy.
> 
> “All right,” Richie whispers. “Go!”
> 
> The boy sighs and he fixes the camera with a levelled gaze. “Hello,” he says lowly. “I’m Eddie Kaspbrak, um, I’m in my junior year at Derry High and I’m taken.”
> 
> Eddie finishes with a small grin and Richie groans from behind the camera. “What was that?” he whines. “That’s not an introduction! Again!”
> 
> Richie’s fingers shakily plays the next video, heart jumping around his chest. _Eddie._
> 
> They’re still at the same place and there’s a grin on Eddie’s face. “Hello!” he jumps a little and Richie lets out a small laugh which Eddie lightens up at. “I’m Eddie Kaspbrak! I was born on September three and I’m a junior at Derry High! I’m taken!”
> 
> Both he and Richie laugh, and Eddie moves closer, head tilting up a little. “Well?” he laughs, “how was that?”
> 
> The video cuts off just as Richie’s about to say, “Perfect! That was nice, Eds!”

Richie doesn’t notice the next video playing. He can feel his stomach knotting around as it plays.

> The camera is showing Richie, Eddie’s thumb even covering the camera.
> 
> “Hey!” Richie laughs, in front of the Derry Library. “You’re covering it, idiot!”
> 
> “Oh,” Eddie laughs out and fixes the camera. Richie’s grinning brightly at him. “Go!”
> 
> “Hi, I’m Richie Tozier!” Richie says giddily and Eddie lets out a giggle behind the camera. “I’m a junior at Derry High and I’m a Pisces!”
> 
> “Go, go!” Eddie whispers and Richie laughs at him.
> 
> “Today,” he starts with a grin, looking at Eddie behind the camera with a soft look. “Together with Eddie—”
> 
> The camera suddenly flips around, showing Eddie grinning proudly at the camera before it’s turned to Richie again. “It’s our first month together as a couple.”
> 
> “Yeah!” Eddie giggles. “Go on!”
> 
> Richie rolls his eyes at that, but he still grins at the camera, color high in his cheeks. “We decided to record stuff we do!” Richie says, throwing his arms. “We wanna document!”
> 
> “Oh, oh, your phones dying!” Eddie suddenly says, putting the phone down and laughing at Richie. “It’s okay! We’re late to the movies—”

Richie wordlessly stares at his laptop as the video ends, the folder staring back at him. “Eddie…” he whispers softly. “Kaspbrak.”

He shakily moves around the screen and finds another folder.

> They’re at the Denbrough’s. Everyone is at the garage, talking mindlessly as Richie focuses on an Eddie fixing Bill’s bike.
> 
> “Wow,” Mike says as he watches Eddie. “You’re doing amazing, Eddie.”
> 
> The camera zooms in even more as Eddie looks at Mike before smiling bashfully, a small laugh leaving his mouth. “Hey, hey!” Richie says behind the camera. “What was that, mister?”
> 
> Eddie turns to him with a frown. “Shut up.”
> 
> Stanley and Beverly laugh at Richie with matching _oooohh_ ’s and Richie groans loudly. “Shut up!” he groans, dropping his phone. “You’re all just jealous you’re not kissing my Eds!”
> 
> “Ew, gross!”

> The next video is them at the barrens. Eddie’s beside Ben and Bill. “They’re building a dam!” Richie narrates for them. “Go, Eds!”
> 
> “Ben’s making the dam, idiot,” Eddie turns to him with a laugh. “Support Ben!”
> 
> The camera zooms in on Ben, face red with the attention. “Um, hey,” he waves and Richie laughs.
> 
> “We got a camera-shy here!”
> 
> They’re the arcade, inside the photobooth. Richie’s propping his phone at where the photobooth’s camera is and Eddie’s rushing him.
> 
> “Hurry up!” Eddie hisses. “It’s counting down!”
> 
> “Okay, okay!” Richie’s head is a little cut off as he hastily sits back down and smiles at the camera.
> 
> Their first pose is Richie squishing Eddie’s cheeks, the latter crossing his eyes.
> 
> The second pose is Eddie pretending to punch Richie.
> 
> The third pose is them squishing their faces together, the biggest grins displayed.
> 
> The last pose is Richie grabbing Eddie’s cheeks and kissing him, smile evident on Eddie’s face.
> 
> Richie makes sure to zoom in on the last photo with a laugh. “Look at that! You’re in _love_ with me.”
> 
> “Shut up.”

Richie eyes widen when the next video plays and he sees Maggie and Wentworth and Eddie. All laughing and dancing around the living room.

> “Play my favorite song, Richard!” Wentworth bellows as Eddie laughs, twirling Maggie around.
> 
> Richie begrudgingly does so. Wentworth whoops and Eddie laughs, looking at Richie.
> 
> _Join us!_ , he mouths at him and Richie laughs behind the camera.
> 
> “Oh my!” Maggie giggles, face red from wine she’s been drinking. “Went, Eds is an amazing dancer!”
> 
> Eddie laughs as both Maggie and Wentworth hug him suddenly. “Take a photo of us, Richard!”
> 
> Richie zooms in on their faces and captures the three of them laughing loudly. It’s Richie’s favorite photo.

> The next video is them at the barrens, just the two of them. Eddie’s hair is freshly dyed blond and he’s laughing at something Richie is saying before the video started.
> 
> “I’m serious!” Richie laughs, fixing his phone, fingers covering the camera before Eddie is seen again. “You look good, Eds. Blond suits you.”
> 
> “Really?” Eddie blushes, running a hand softly through his hair. “I’m glad Bev did them.”
> 
> “You look amazing, really,” Richie repeats again, and Eddie looks at him with a grin. “Like, seriously good. My little rebel.”
> 
> “Shut up,” Eddie says quietly and punches Richie on the arm, the camera shaking. “It’s nearing summer, I’m allowed to do this.”
> 
> “Yeah, right,” Richie snorts and he points his phone down to focus on him intertwining his fingers with Eddie. He points it up again to see Eddie staring at him with soft eyes and a soft smile. “You’re just too cute to be suspended.”
> 
> “Too cute to get a kiss?” Eddie teases and Richie laughs.
> 
> “No, no,” he sets the camera down and the video cuts off there.

The next video is starting to play, them at Richie’s bedroom, The Smiths softly playing, when Richie catches sight of a folder name. He leans forward a little and feels his breathe catch in his throat when he reads it properly.

SEPT. 3 EDDIE’S BD!

He shakily clicks on the only video, chest heaving a little heavier as it shows them at the quarry, sunset framing Eddie’s face.

> “ _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, dear Eds!_ ” Richie sings offkey and Eddie laughs, turning to him with a smile. They’re both sitting by the edge, feet swinging mindlessly as the evening breeze greets them. Eddie’s wearing one of Richie’s jackets.
> 
> A box is shoved into Eddie’s hands and his face lights up. “For you,” Richie says, smile evident in his voice. “Happy birthday, baby.”
> 
> “Are you serious?” Eddie asks excitedly, hair flying everywhere as the wind quickens and he laughs, holding the box tightly.
> 
> “Open it!”
> 
> Eddie does, opening the box and letting out a gasp of surprise. Inside are two bracelets. There’s an evident accessory hanging off of it. **R** and **E**. Richie moves the camera so it can focus better on them.
> 
> “I got matching ones,” Richie says when Eddie stares at them. “They’re in my room but we can wear them tomorrow.”
> 
> “It’s so cute!” Eddie gasps out and takes out the R one, putting it on quickly. “I love it!”
> 
> “It’s so ugly,” Richie suddenly says while laughing, camera shaking. “Isn’t it?”
> 
> Eddie laughs loudly and extends his arm, looking at his wrist with a smug grin. “Yeah,” he giggles out. “That’s why I love it.”
> 
> The video cuts to the view of the sunset, their breathes mingling quietly when Richie speaks up, “Let’s come back here next year, at this time. On your birthday.”
> 
> He turns the camera to Eddie, who’s smiling big, eyes sparkling before he’s nodding. The late sunset is making his blond hair a little orange. He looks beautiful.

Richie’s phone vibrating and ringing in his pocket makes him jump as he snaps his eyes out of the video. _Eddie Kaspbrak_.

He’s hastily taking his phone out of his pocket and reads the words on his screen.

**Note: September 3, Ed’s birthday!!!!**

“Shit.” He lets out and then looks at the laptop screen. At Eddie’s smiling face at the quarry, at exactly this time. “ _Shit!_ ”

Richie hastily stands up and puts on his jacket again, jumping down three steps at the stairs and running out the front door. He’s quick to jump on his bike and rides out, Eddie’s name whispered out his lips as he quickly bikes towards the quarry.

_Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak._

Eddie sits alone at the edge of the cliff, legs swinging as he stares out into the water. He’s wearing the bracelet Richie gave him a year ago, **R** hanging lifelessly. He’s trying to stay positive, trying to keep the tears inside his eyes.

 _It’s all just happening again_ , he thinks, hands playing with each other. _You should’ve known. He had that exact same look last year. When I tried approaching him at the end of junior year and he’d just smile at me. Not knowing who I am. You should’ve fucking known_.

Eddie laughs and looks at the sunset. It’s different from last year. Today, it’s a mix of violets and blues and reds and oranges. Eddie feels pain and heartache more than he’s ever felt before. He feels his throat clog as he tries to smile, lips shaking as a sob threatens to leave, throat scratching at the ache it wants to let out.

He shakily makes two L’s with his middle and index finger and forms a rectangle, capturing the sunset. He lets out a wet laugh, tears stinging his eyes, warm against his cheeks as he sits there, alone, at the quarry, enveloped by the wind and the reds and blues and oranges.

When Richie arrives at the quarry, it’s dark and cold. He doesn’t see anyone, and it feels like his heart just dropped out of his chest. He’s been mumbling _Eddie_ ever since he got here, and it feels like someone just poured a bucket of cold water over him.

He feels his hands shake as he slowly walks over to the edge and looks down at the water. He lets out a sigh and runs a hand over his face, body trembling as he feels the wind wrap itself around him. “Fuck,” he whispers, lips shaking as he thinks about Eddie. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck, fuck, fuck_!”

He continues to stare out at the water when he hears footsteps behind him. He quickly turns around and is face-to-face with a boy. Blond hair, oversized blue sweater over a polo shirt, shorts, and a fanny pack. He stares at Richie, an unreadable expression on his face. Richie stares at him back and tries to connect it all together.

“Richie,” he says softly, and Richie feels an ache in his chest. “Tozier?”

Richie stays quiet, hair whipping around by the wind.

The boy stares at him again before he looks down, playing with his fingers. “I,” he says quietly, and Richie takes a step closer to him. “I was asked by Eddie Kaspbrak to come here, in case you’d be here.”

 _Eddie_. Richie feels his heart jump out his throat as he blurts out, a little hoarsely, a little desperately, “Where’s Eddie?”

He doesn’t notice the way the boy’s lips shake at his question, eyes fluttering shut. “He, he said he won’t be coming here anymore.” He replies, voice shaking. “I’m sorry.”

Richie closes his eyes in frustration, hands coming up to cover his eyes as he tries to stop himself from sobbing. “Please,” he lets out, glasses almost falling off as he rubs at his eyes. “Where’s Eddie? I—I want to see him, please.”

The boy stays silent and Richie looks up, hot tears streaming down as he tries to speak through his clogged throat, “Please,” he pleads hoarsely, blinking through his tears. “I need to see Eddie.”

He clenches his jaw, trying to sound clear as he says, “I forgot,” he reasons, wiping away his tears, despite it already staining his glasses. “I forgot when I said I wouldn’t, but, I still did. So— _please_ , please let me see him. Please.”

He takes a deep breathe in as he tries to focus his sobs, his breathing, as his hands shake alongside with his body. It seems like the other boy is trying to do the same.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, looking away from him. “I was told to come here to say something.”

When he begins backing away, Richie feels his world shattering around him as he does. “Eddie says ‘thank you’,” the boy whispers, eyes teary and Richie feels like head hurt at the ache he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry,” the boy whispers again and takes a step back, already turning away. Richie stares at him silently, jaw clenched as he blinks away the tears. He needs to find Eddie.

_Eddie Kaspbrak Eddie Kaspbrak Eddie Kaspbrak Eddie Kaspbrak Eddie Kaspbrak_

He watches as the boy stares at him for one last moment before fixing the collar of his shirt and it’s then he notices—the boy’s wearing a bracelet. Richie catches sight of the pastel pink color and feels like he’s been hit by a truck.

“Goodbye,” the boy whispers, wrapping his arms around himself and Richie blinks. _No, no,_ he thinks desperately, _show me your bracelet. Please, please_.

Richie watches as the boy stares at him again before turning around, walking away from him. Richie feels like screaming, tearing out his throat and sobbing his heart out when it clicks.

He runs after the boy and grabs his wrist, turning him around. Eddie looks at him in shock, blond hair flopping down his forehead as he stares at him, brown eyes wide in shock.

Richie looks at his freckles, his eyes, his lips, and then his hair, and feels like his hands have finally stopped shaking. He grips into his wrist and breathes out, “Eds.”

It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.

— Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

**Author's Note:**

> how was it!! i hope you guys liked the ending hehe, please don't hesitate to comment your thoughts!! this one is honestly my most favorite fic i've ever written n i'm excited to know ur thoughts!! i also hope it wasn't too confusing, but don't hesitate to ask me questions if u wanna :p
> 
> i'm also very active on my twitter ([itminiseries](https://twitter.com/itminiseries)) so follow me if u wanna! thank you so much for reading this and i love you dearly ♡


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